It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
