I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
