Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
