listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I supernannyed him into submission
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
