Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
