my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
