So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
