he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
