end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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