I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
