some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
