What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
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