taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
