She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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