If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Randomize
