its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he high fived his dick after we had sex
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize