when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
