matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
