just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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