what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
