Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
