I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
