the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
