i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
