Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize