just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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