You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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