soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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