Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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