I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
