careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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