Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize