I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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