Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
