I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
