it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
