it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
