She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
