i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
