Fuck appropriateness.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
