I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
