would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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