Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My feet surprised me
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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