she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
