you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it hurts more in the daytime
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
