Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
