Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
