i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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