It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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