i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
