Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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