Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
