two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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