there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
