Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I need water and some morals
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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