I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize