You're earring is so big in my mouth
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
