i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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