I think my vagina is haunted
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
