then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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