my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
